Will: What are my blinkers called?

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If you can't put up a fingerboard in your house, it isn't worth living in... in my opinion. - Dave MacLeod

When discussing Top-50 climbs in the guide books

Emma - How many Top-50 climbs are there?

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Sent from my typewriter...


Starley Chewart

"The definition of a virgin in North Whales is a girl who can outrun her brother"

A colleague from work when I explained my weekend plans

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Great Free Blowies (men or women) - 07702218917

A delayed posting from Scotland + one from Llangollen...
Mauricio doing 63mph in the minibus after breaking sharply trying to change gear "oops wrong peddle"
Joe "do you have to chew on the tea bag... I've tried that"

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Sent from my typewriter...


Starley Chewart

A few from the past few months.

Steph in Skipton:

Me: We [girls] are just all really angry because we can't play cock or ball.
*long pause*
Steph: ... Why not?

While playing a particularly tense game or Perudo in Llangollen:

Super Lube: I am the pope and I will turn the streets to jelly!
Joe: ... The pope isn't a wizard Super Lube.

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#lovesthewhipsandchains

Best of Jonny from the AGM:
Murray: What's the furthest you've ever fallen?
Jonny: emotionally or physically

someone: do you feel you work well in a pair?
Jonny: well last year I was gear sec with Sam, and now I'm living with him

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Hazel a.k.a. (ex) Beast sec.

Steph: "You don't want pizza you want pussy!"

.

Brain at Lowhouse: 'Chalk is a lubricant'

John Luckett after AGM - "I slam too much for it to remain untrimmed" in reference to bodily hair.

Hazel at BBC "It's all about the strong crouch before thrusting the arete"

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*Sees that Crunchy Nut is £3.70 in the supermarket*
"Definitely can't afford that".
*Buys a pint for £4 later on that evening*

Vizzle-Pizzle

Sam Hunt at BBC: "My girlfriend says i'm like a VDiff, pretty easy and lacking protection."

The only quote I wrote down from Font was Top Bon's best bit from Cards Against Humanity (he played a generally blinding game):

Sam: A romantic candlelit dinner is not complete without reciprocating oral sex. *winks and does finger guns at Hazel*

And just this past weekend, Greg offers Marks unsolicited advice on erections in spandex.

Greg: If you are a man in spandex and you get an erection - and this is what you do Mark - you look them in the eye and you say: Ich habe eine tintenfisch.

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#lovesthewhipsandchains

A classic quote from young Annie on hearing the Greg showers at least 3 times a day...

Annie "I don't think Greg would approve of my shower routine..."

Michaf C - " How come??!!"

Annie - "Well... I probably shower less than I should..."

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'You can find work and sort your life out anytime! The pub closes in five hours!' - Bernard Black

Maggie at BBC yesterday

Michaf C: (whilst miming a massage action) "I fancy one of those really deep massages"

Maggie: (With absolute sincerity) "ahhh i know those, you mean like the one's where Thai women jump on you ?"

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'Big walls... How hard can they really be' - Sam Hunt, 2015