When jeans wear out I get very tense. It means I have to go shopping for a new pair of jeans.
I just want a pair of jeans that fit. I don't want a million different styles, boot cut, drain, lad etc etc.and skinny jeans can knob right off. Who the chuff would buy skinny jeans, who is a male. Picture cocky in skinny jeans, no, real men don't wear skinny jeans.
Russel Brand can also go to hell, Alan Carr is not funny.
Call centres, particularly virgin media. Especially the automated voice at virgin media, I just want to speak to a real person. Then you get put through to about seven brain dead morons before you speak to the "right person" who also clearly is challenged in many departments.
People, usually men, who shout up at you when you're climbing "you've gone the wrong way, I've done that route, you were supposed to go left at the woodlouse that lives in the crack that takes a number four nut". No, no I wasn't, read the guidebook you balding, slightly overweight misguided old fool. If you were half the climber you think you are you'd be twice the climber you ever will be. Now excuse me while I accidently dislodge this rock onto your numb skull, or go home and put a blanket over your knees.
Jobsworths.
People who don't care and have no opinion about anything, Wet Weekend(s).
The new mini. Cyclists not stopping at red lights. Jellyfish. Getting sand in your food when you're at the beach. People who take forever leading/seconding a shag and don't just admit the can't do it when they know fine well there are people waiting.
People who say they can't shag something because the hold is too small/facing the wrong way/too chalked up/not chalked enough. Actually I think what happened was you weren't good enough.
People who drive slowly on country roads, Sunday drivers, people who want your time and or money when you're walking down the street clearly with somewhere to go. Dog crap. Kids with dummies when they're clearly far too old.
When milk goes off and there is no other milk in the house.
Showers where the head is so low you have to duck to get your hair wet.
Fat people.
The fact that Scotland is so far away and has so much amazing climbing.
Student Loans Company...
_________________ Ex-president
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